The news over the weekend that Dr Michael Mosley’s body was found in a remote part of a Greek island has shocked and saddened the nation. I was such a huge fan of Dr Mosley and admired his work greatly.
His death has brought up so many emotions for me. Even when we don’t know somebody personally, their untimely death can have a profound impact on us and provoke thoughts and feelings that we may otherwise have thought unrelated.
It is often said that grief doesn’t go away, we build a life around it and its space in our life gets smaller. At least, until some event triggers it and then it can come crashing back into our lives as big as it was the day you lost that special person. On Sunday, my mind kept returning to Dr Mosley and the sad news. Seemingly unrelated things kept triggering the feelings of loss and sadness. And, I guess, shock. That someone who was so fit and active, young and positive, can be gone so suddenly is an idea that is hard to comprehend.
As well as feeling incredibly sad for his family and friends, and all his ardent fans, Dr Mosley’s death brought more to mind for me, and that is what people can so often fail to recognise.
Suddenly I felt how vulnerable we all are. If it can happen to him, it could happen to me or any one of my loved ones. Those feelings that life is fragile crept up and made me want tell all my loved ones how much I think of them. The shock that life can change so suddenly is incomprehensible and yet, that is a fact of life.
I was at a funeral not so long ago and someone said, ‘When I’m at a funeral, I don’t just cry for the person that we are here for today, but for all the other people I have lost.’
That really made me think. I realised how true that was for me as well. When I attend a funeral or hear about the passing of someone, it brings back memories of those I have lost. My mind wanders back to memories of being with that person and maybe the circumstances of their death. I get taken back to that time and everything else that was happening around then and the people who were important to me then. Maybe those people have also moved on from my life in the meantime and so all the associations will be resurrected.
Memories of caring for somebody close who experienced an illness before their passing are common in these circumstances and when these feelings are triggered it can be so hard to brush them to one side.
There are so many examples of what was triggered for me following Dr Mosley’s death and what continued to come up throughout the days that followed. I expect that is the same for many people. When we have lost someone very suddenly, as in this case, the fact that we are so unprepared and didn’t get the chance to say goodbye can weigh heavy for years. This can cause a very real sense of anxiety that can permeate all parts of our lives. There may also be feelings of guilt at what we did or didn’t say or do before that person left us.
These feelings and many more may be triggered for months and years following the passing of somebody significant and left unresolved, can be damaging. Counselling is one way that we can explore these underlying feelings and can help us to move forward towards a life in which we can at least cope and at best thrive.
No amount of counselling will lessen the grief and loss that you may be feeling. What it allows you to do is explore those feelings in a safe and non-judgemental environment and helps you to make sense of what you have experienced.
For more information on how I can help you come to terms with your grief, contact me via my website: www.kellyworgan.co.uk